Annoying old people

Annoying Old People

I was in a Starbucks recently waiting for a friend to arrive. My ears heard a husband and wife talking about the schedule of the day. I saw a couple of students browsing social media on their cell phones. What really caught my attention was two pastors talking about how annoying old people are. Their conversation went something like this…

Pastor 1: I get frustrated with the older folks in my congregation.

Pastor 2: I know what you mean!

Pastor 1: I got an email yesterday from some old guy complaining and he wouldn’t let it go.

Pastor 2: I hate it when that happens.

Pastor 1: It drives me crazy because he isn’t even in my target group and I wish he would just get on board.

I do not know either person and only heard a fraction of their whole conversation. However, what I heard was enough to be heart-breaking. I believe that each pastor needs to know who is in the community they serve and how best to reach them. I also understand that not everyone in the community or the local congregation is defined by that average person revealed by the community demographics. Could it be that in our effort to better understand our community that we have forgotten one important fact.

Everyone in our congregation deserves to be loved and understood.

Recently I had an older couple in my congregation request that their membership be removed. I have led the congregation I pastor through pretty significant change. They expressed their concerns and I walked them through the reason for every change and what I believed its long term impact on their grandchildren would be. They appreciated the time I gave them but they still left my congregation.

I don’t mind older folks asking questions. I choose to believe they love Christ, love the congregation and love me. They might not love as I believe but I would rather assume the best than the worst about people. It makes me happier. I believe that anyone who asks me a question, regardless of their age, deserves my best explanation without being afraid of what I think of them. If I can’t defend my position then maybe I should rethink my position. They still may not agree but Jesus calls me to love everyone. When those who can’t find a way to support the mission of the church leaves, it always hurts and I never rejoice. It may end up being what is best but it should never be easy for us.

If target demographics and community surveys result in giving us an excuse to stop loving people that don’t “fit” then I believe we have missed the gospel of Jesus entirely. A targeted focus helps us structure our ministry efforts intentionally. A targeted focus does not give us the right to minimize the value of those outside the target.

Pastors have a responsibility to lead the congregation entrusted to them by God with spiritual integrity. We must know who God is calling us to reach. We must intentionally partner with God to reach them. We must do our best to explain the “why” to our decisions. We must love intentionally, even those who do not match the demographic.

Pastor, I have found many older folks who may struggle with the cultural approach at my church. However, many of them are excited to see new families come to Christ. They intercede for me, my family and the church daily. They appreciate knowing the “why” behind what is happening and pray that it will mean the Kingdom of Jesus advances in our community. 

I have a long list of “old folks” who are among my most vocal supporters. I love them dearly! Don’t forget your “old folks.” Your approach to ministry may not cater to their interests but if they feel invested in the approach they will fight the spiritual forces that stand against your church while engaged in fervent prayer. I need my old folks and am glad they can see past the lights, sound and style and rejoice at everyone who is baptized into faith in Jesus Christ.